


Some Feelings in These Rugged Bosoms

by TheTalonTavern (DragonheadSkilax)



Category: Frankenstein - Mary Shelley
Genre: M/M, Only using historical phrases to describe things, Porn With Plot, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:40:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29024370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonheadSkilax/pseuds/TheTalonTavern
Summary: “There was a loss of charm that, at first, appealed to me about him. But I wanted a man with more lofty ambitions. In the end, I knew better than to confide myself with a sailor.“Robert tries to give the lieutenant a chance. Maybe he could be the one.
Relationships: Robert Walton/Lieutenant
Kudos: 1





	Some Feelings in These Rugged Bosoms

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate title: Lewdtenant

I folded my letter to the shape of an envelope. Portioned sealing wax was ready to be poured onto the folded edge. The red wax made a perfect thick puddle. Taking my fob out, I pressed down my charm to seal it’s stamp. Finally, I signed it off to be delivered to Margaret Saville, England. I got up to deliver this to a merchantman, as a sort of opportunity to take a short walk outside of the inn.

When this duty was completed I resumed walking back to where I stayed. I thought of the contents I had written in today’s letter, in regards to my new lieutenant. It is a sign of comfort knowing at least one in my crew is not a stranger, but I do not find reason for excitement to see my old acquaintance again. Before the reunion, our last social engagement was when we had finished a whaling voyage. Having received our pay, the man offered that the both of us could go out for drinks for a friendly celebration on returning to land once again. I politely took the offer. I do not drink often, even in a life where there were more ration of spirits than water, I prefer the water, but I know how to handle my drink in social affairs. The most significant bit of talk that had occurred in our meeting was on the topic of our goals. This is when I first mentioned the early details of my enterprise with him.

“I want to discover greatness. I feel as though I deserve a significant place in history, change the world. I have decided that by the next year I will begin hiring a ship for the discovery of the northern pole.” I then turned to him. “What are your plans, my good man?”

“I’m… going to stay here and continue sailing. Take any jobs I find.”

“Uh huh…”

At that moment, I felt the drop of an anchor within me. The feeling that can be compared to the disappointment of finding a fly in one’s soup, and not wanting to touch the hot meal laid before you. I paused for a moment before finishing my last drink. There was a loss of charm that, at first, appealed to me about him. But I wanted a man with more lofty ambitions. In the end, I knew better than to confide myself with a sailor.

I paid for both our tabs. As an offering of mercy before I told the following final goodbye:

“We’re breaking up.”

“Huh? I barely even know you.”

“And you never will.”

I can’t recall exactly what motivated me to become so cold in my remarks, but during that time I was less than happy with my current place of mind. As much as I have already recounted in my thoughts, I am a lonely man. His well-known integrity and dauntless courage made me very desirous to engage with him once before. I genuinely thought I would make close friends with him but he did not meet every aspect I dreamt of. 

My thoughts now turn to a condition which would follow before the onslaught of scurvy. Sailors would have vivid dreams of foods from home, or grassy meadows. Waking up from these dreams would make even the hardest of sailors weep. This nearly unavoidable disease was known as nostalgia. I am undoubtedly fortunate enough to never have come across the situation of scurvy, but the symptoms of nostalgia are similar in experience to what I have ever felt. I sometimes wake to the dooming feeling of loneliness. I’d hurt in agony upon the realization. The feeling of being held, knowing I'm of utmost importance to another’s eyes, is something I know very little of. My dearest sister and her family are the sole memory of this, and I am grateful, yet they would be safe and well off if I am away for months. If I never see them again. Only they will remember me. I do not imagine any other man to ever remember the name of Robert Walton. Perhaps, achieving my dream of finding true purpose in my scientific endeavour can not only give me back a sense of importance, not in the personal sense, but with the importance in place of history. And just maybe, having published my findings, I will meet more people of higher understanding that can compare to my own. People, like my book refined sister, who will most likely accept my character. These are my only plans for the future for myself.

Weeks ago, when I reunited with the man known as Andrei P Gradsky, I recognized his long bright hair and lavender handkerchief tied on top, and those brilliant eyes. Our exchange of words was minimal. When I had greeted him upon recognizing the man I asked him what business he had. When learning he was unemployed I offered him the prospect as lieutenant. He then shook my hand, a feeling of which brought goosebumps. It was odd meeting someone vaguely known, I had no anticipation of trying again to befriend him, I can only hope he does not remember the embarrassing parting I gave a year ago. I’m much better now than letting wishful thinking get the best of me in my social behavior.

It is now time to set sail. The master boarded the ship without much of a greeting besides ‘captain’. He always was a man of few words. Walking upon the ship brought such jitters of excitement. I had the world as my oyster. I do not like this analogy as I don’t like seafood. But it was the best that came to mind to compare the journey ahead of me. 

Weeks have passed, and so has my anxiety with my crew. They must know that I am a captain of humbleness. Even the gaze of my lieutenant does not inspire the thought of shame. Yet still, I am antisocial with them all. Once I have thought of renewing my acquaintance with my lieutenant. There were other reasons I gave up my chances with him. I couldn’t connect with him in the way I had hoped for, beyond the comparison of our dreams. He just didn’t click with me, but I should've expected this result, I was just hoping that this time he’d be different, but alas. My complaining is the benefit for the both of us really, I will not ever put myself in the situation of the sting of misunderstood longings.

Before I let myself wallow in these recurring thoughts, I retired to my cabin much earlier, taking with me my meal whilst everyone else was in the mess hall. I only ate a little before laying in my bed.

A thought floated in my mind, perhaps writing a letter to Gradsky would better explain communicating with him than facing him. I took the time to think of what to write, and only mustered writing just a small note.

To Andrei,

I would like to start over. Meet me in my cabin.

  * R. W.



I then went to the crew’s sleeping quarters which were empty as everyone on board was currently busy eating. I placed the note into the sack of the lieutenant’s. Now, it would be a waiting game to know if my request will be found soon. It would be odd to have an order be by note but I would prefer little of this event known by any others. It was a long hour before I heard a knock on my door. I walked quietly to the door to avoid the creaking of the floorboards to not sound as if I were rushing, or have gone up to the door so eagerly. My heart raced, I opened the door to see my lieutenant standing before me.

“Captain?” was his only response. I allowed him inside. My mouth felt parched, so I went to get myself a glass of rum, and to fiddle something with my hands as well. I offered the first glass to Andrei, who quietly took it. Then I poured myself a shot, having only a sip.

“I didn’t call you in for anything of grave importance, Master Gradsky. I just thought we got off on the wrong foot those years ago. If you can remember anything at all about it. Either way, I would prefer a better amount of sanguine moments between us, don’t you think?”

“Mhm.” he drinks down his glass. “What do you have in mind?”

I took his glass and went back up to refill it for him. “I thought perhaps, we could play games as a start. I have board games, or maybe you like harder games like liar’s dice?”

I heard his heavy boots walk close from behind me. Instinctively I offered his glass of rum by raising the glass towards him without turning around, and my other hand was outstretched below me to balance myself as the ship swayed. I found myself having settled my hand onto him. He always wore a thick layer of coats that made his form look like a bell. He took the glass from my hand.

“I thought you were going to tell me more about your feelings towards me.”

This sentence made me feel a rush of a shiver flow up from my neck. There was no telling what he could be thinking by this comment.

“You interest in the company of men, is that right?” Hearing his warm gentle voice vibrate through my ears from behind me made the rum in my stomach feel warmer than it already is.

“That’s right.” I replied. The ship slowly rocked. I moved back a smidge but Andrei stood firmly like a rock so I barely bumped into him. I forgot how I still kept my other hand on him due to my anxious state. I always did have a habit to freeze in place. I put my other hand down slowly. I finally collected my thoughts.

“When I first learned of you, I had found you to be quite admirable in your kindness. I didn’t think I’d ever find a man with a disposition like yourself in these seas. I always longed for the gentle touch of a man who would be there when I was most despondent. Share my joys, hold up my spirits.” My heart pounded at a quickened pace through my chest.

“Is it in your hopes that I would be this man you dream of?”

“Yes” I quivered saying that. I couldn’t help keep his body close behind me. I held him with both hands now. I remained still, but my heart and breath were steadfast. I only hoped he didn’t see my weakness for him.

He finally made a response, “Any orders, captain?”

I swallowed hard. Slowly, I moved along with the rhythm of the ship as I nudged behind against his body with half the effort to not seem like I actively had a deep want in me.

“Master Andrei… excuse the language I’ll use, but I want you to honk me.”

“Hm”. That was the sole reply to my request as I fumbled to unbutton my trousers, I let my drawers fall down to my knees and put a leg up onto the desk. I felt a hand feel down my agility and weakly sighed out. Nervousness rendered me to breath out in such shaky movements. When fingers delved in I groaned. Typically when I fling my jelly I wouldn’t already be keeling over so soon, but having another man give his hand for it just renders me feeble. His fingers felt around and about. They were somewhat more textured than mine. Usually my hands are well maintained to keep its softness. Andrei, as expected, was a bit rugged. Eventually though I seeped enough to allow an index finger in. My tensed shoulders as he moved about. Pangs within me were really starting to nag for more.

For a moment Andrei let out his fingers, that was then I felt something else rub against me. He held it while he teased around, barely poking it against my figary that ached for activity. Then slowly, Andrei’s clatterdevengeance made its way in. I whimpered endlessly as he ever so slowly moved his way in and out, to get used to bearings, hissing as this went on. The pace eventually quickened just a bit, my groaning got louder, I braced myself as he occupied me. His soft coat repeatedly patted behind me, it helped muffle the sound of our soggy selves a bit. By this point I couldn’t hide my pleasure in this moment, breathy moans escaped my throat, in comparison to Andrei who merely huffed with every movement. We were more hot than ever on this voyage to the arctic. A mist enveloped my brow and my tired self couldn’t upkeep my drooling as my head hangs low. A growing tension rose inside me. Peering over I muttered, “Ann… Ann, faster…”

He gripped my sides as he followed my order. A pang hit me hard as I let out a series of weak, loud moans. Drippings pattered against the wood floor. It certainly wasn’t the ship that sprung a leak. My mind softened to a pulp and the only thought was to quench my thirst.

I slowly tried to get up, “Andrei, before you cleave the pin…” I went down on my knees before him. For the first time I was seeing what was reckoning me from my backside the whole time. I could see that he was unscathed, the entirety being the length of a sardine. Taking it in hand, I lapped it up with my tongue for the forthmost end, then took it into my mouth. Still kept up a pattern of stroking it with my hand and tasting every bit of it, there was no want of letting this go yet. With one last engulfment I took in as much as possible. Andrei seemed to have finally let out a new noise as he groaned. I felt his endowment throb a bit as a hot slime filled the spaces in my mouth, trying my best to gobble it down. Letting it free, with just a thread of salvia being the last connection before the line breaks, and finally taking a big breath of air. My body was still reeling with longing, so standing up, I guided Andrei to the bed for him to lay down in. I saddled in, sitting over on top of him, kneading myself over his body. Andrei opened my coat just a little to observe me grind against his groin. There was still a bit of stamina left within him thankfully to endure my lengthy appetite. I heaved whilst slowly moving, catching my breath after the last two positions I’ve been in. As much as how it always bothered me for how stone faced he is, it still was quite unbelievable he is still so unmoved even in the heat of passion. What thoughts could be going on in that mind of his.

The waning of the mood was starting to come onto me as well. As a last bit of sensuality I bent down to kiss Andrei. We touched lips for just a few seconds before my stomach turned. The realization of what I just did came over me.

I put my hands up to my face, “I can’t do this”, I cried.

Tears flowed out from my eyes. How could I be so desperate to have gotten myself to be doing this. Did I even really love him at all? The worm of guilt made my bosom heavy. I didn’t want to look at Andrei who probably has that same expression kept on his face. Moving off from top of him, my body slumped onto the bed as I continued crying.

Suddenly I woke up. My hair was loosely tied and messy. My long breeches remained fastened in place, though I’m feeling very ruffled from the night’s emissions. The morning watch struck three bells. This was obvious it was all just a dream. Thank goodness.

I continued avoiding my motivation to make ties with my crew. Nothing quite caught my eye with any of them to ever feel like any of them are the kind of men I’ve always looked for.

One morning, as soon as it was light, I went upon deck and found all the sailors busy on one side of the vessel, apparently talking to someone in the sea. It was, in fact, a sledge, like one I had seen before, which had drifted towards us in the night on a large fragment of ice. Only one dog remained alive; but there was a human being within it whom the sailors were persuading to enter the vessel. He was a European. When I appeared on deck the lieutenant said, “Here is our captain, and he will not allow you to perish on the open sea.”

I let the man onto the ship once he consented to come aboard. His limbs were terrible cold, and he was so weak he had faint spells. Even in his wretched condition, his beautiful long hair and wild eyes captivated me. I took every bit of opportunity to care for him that my captain duties allowed. Every bowl of soup I gave him restored him wonderfully. Seeing the slow degree of recovery made me feel a bit of happiness as well.

When my guest was a little recovered I had great trouble to keep off the men, who wished to ask him a thousand questions; but I would not allow him to be tormented by their idle curiosity, in a state of body and mind whose restoration evidently depended upon entire repose. Once, however, the lieutenant asked why he had come so far upon the ice in so strange a vehicle.

My guest responded that he seeks the one who fled him, possibly referring to a figure we’ve seen pass the other night. Having the lieutenant’s question answered out of all the others made me pay attention to Andrei for once after all these days spent paying attention to the stranger. Andrei seemed to have lost every bit of glimmer I once beheld him when I knew him in the early days. Now, my only focus was towards the subject of my guest.

“I have, doubtless, excited your curiosity, as well as that of these good people; but you are too considerate to make inquiries.”, said he.

“Certainly; it would indeed be very impertinent and inhuman in me to trouble you with any inquisitiveness of mine.”

“And yet you rescued me from a strange and perilous situation; you have benevolently restored me to life.”

My affection for my guest increases every day. He excites at once my admiration and my pity to an astonishing degree. How can I see so noble a creature destroyed by misery without feeling the most poignant grief? He is so gentle, yet so wise; his mind is so cultivated, and when he speaks, although his words are culled with the choicest art, yet they flow with rapidity and unparalleled eloquence. 

One day, he asked me the history of my earlier years. I have trusted him enough to allow him the knowledge of certain aspects of myself, of which I knew could mirror him as I discreetly learned. The tale was quickly told, but it awakened various trains of reflection. I spoke of my desire of finding a friend, of my thirst for a more intimate sympathy with a fellow mind than had ever fallen to my lot, and expressed my conviction that a man could boast of little happiness who did not enjoy this blessing...

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I’d put an index of definitions but context should be enough to know, i’m too bashful to wanna utter the actual words.


End file.
